as you know i’m a mechanical engg. student.
but if you look around here or follow me on my socials, i barely talk about anything related to the field.
the singular reason for this is cause i didn’t choose this field.
i’m doing it against my will.
i had all the options to go for sth that i love (computer science), but cause of circumstances and life being life, i’m stuck with this.
it hit like a truck at first but i eventually made truth with the fact that this is my reality now.
i’ve tried loving it for the last 20months, but i just cannot.
it seemed to get better at times but overall, it’s has just been going downhill.
my cgpa went from 7.57 to 6.15 to 5.40 (for each semester).
and this is not cause i don’t understand that stuff i’m being taught (i have a kinda okay retention capacity). but rather cause i don’t have the motivation to revise the stuff being taught in class.
i used to brush it under the rug but now it’s affecting all parts of me.
i can’t complete my assignment cause i just dont love doing them.
i can’t relate to my peers cause we don’t really have the same goals.
i’m aware that i’m the sole person whose responsible for all of this.
i could be studying cs if i was a lil more serious with my college entrance exams.
but i kinda dont regret that cause i spent that period of time learning about programming and meet many people who really helped shape me as the person i am rn.
i think if i did good prep and got cs, i wouldn’t have been able to appretiate the field, as much as i do it now, because of all the experiences which i would have missed out on..
even right now, i’m supposed to be completing my lab manual for mechanical vibrations but here i am, typing this…
the only way out i can think of is somehow landing a really good job in software as soon as possible…
but then again, i need projects for that, which i can’t complete cause of this
ugh…
